Terrible Toilet Update and New Radio Rules

After yesterday's fiasco, I made a decision: When fate throws a load of hooey at me, DO NOT turn on the radio. I can't tell you how many times that dang radio has mocked me, and it's usually when I'm having one of those crappy, over the top, hellish days.  I mean, seriously, the sign song plays AFTER I ask for a stupid sign WHILE I'm standing in my birthday suit with toilet toes. Really?! I hate that damn song...always have...hate it more now, I must say.

So, no radio when the crap starts piling up.  CD's only.  Christmas CD's, to be exact. Happy holiday music lightens my spirit every time I hear it. Besides, stinky fate can't compete with anything Christmas or holy, right?

Terrible Toilet: Oh, it's so messed up. I literally don't want to flush the dang thing. It bubbles, spits, wheezes, and the water in the bowl doesn't ripple, it swirls or spins.  It also does this fill-recede-fill-recede thing that it never did before. Odd. So, who's a girl gonna call? Toiletbusters!!! Otherwise known as a girl's daddy.

In walks my dad--the look on his face was somewhere between amused and shocked. He took in the sadly crumpled, oddly misshapen throw rug, the obtrusive garbage bag, and towels I used to mop up the mess, all laying in the tub, and sighed, "It sure looked like a great party."

Funny.  "I'm just making absolutely certain everything dries before bringing it downstairs," I said, trying to avoid what I knew was coming. "Um, so, yeah, then I'll have to scrub the tub, but I didn't know where else to put everything and I didn't want to drag it through the place and the garbage doesn't come until later in the week, so..." I just kept rattling on, hoping...but then I looked at his face...it was coming...any second...and there it goes...

My dad's laughter is something out of a Hanna Barbera cartoon--it just compels you to laugh...so I did.

After clearing away the laughter tears, he observed my toilet. He looked into the back part and started pointing things out, explaining what each thing does.

Uh-huh. I felt like I was in Charlie Brown's world and my dad was one of the teachers. Wah wah woh wah woh. The only words that remotely resembled English with me were: "faulty," "replacement," "float," "Home Depot."

As far as I know, something needs to be replaced and the Home Depot probably has it, I think...

Until then, no radio and flush with caution.